I'm With Stupid

Passed out on the toilet last night, taking a leak, at 3 AM. Woke up upside down in the most awkward contortion of my face on the floor in the corner where the tub surround meets the wall and my ass still, barely, on the seat, still peeing, and I couldn't figure out how to get up. I was amazed that my poor little neck was not broken clean off.
Got myself cleaned up, groaning like a pirate, struggled back to bed to lay there whimpering and wondering what the fuck did I just do. It reminded me of waking up from an OD.

The malfunction culminating in this goose egg wasn't even the stupidest thing I did last night.

I looked at the clock by the bed  and I was amazed that they had a time of day that was a 3 and then I figured out it was night because I was in bed. There was a little gel pack in the freezer so I got that on the goose egg on my forehead and eventually I got a 600 mg Ibuprofen down me and got my hands around where I could reach the knots in my shoulders and gradually drifted back off to sleepy-land.
It was a humiliating end to an evening that was wrong from the start.
AS I shall soon stop pointing out these stupid pills I started taking yesterday cost a fortune, and they have a rigorous routine involved, every 8 hours or they will cut your balls off whether you have them or not. I took mine at 8 AM, then at 4 PM and then my stupid button stuck in the down position and at 8 PM I took the last ones for the day. Five minutes later it occurred to me that I wasn't supposed to take them until midnight. There was nothing I could do
Maybe today will be a better day.